The words in the Serenity Prayer may seem simple but I assure
you they are powerful. Give them a try!
I want to share something with you that has helped me
immensely and given me peace of mind.
The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot
change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Yes, I know we’ve all heard the Serenity Prayer. I’ve only
just started applying it in the past 6 months with rave results. I’ve found
this prayer to be the solution for many ills. I know this prayer is recited at
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and other 12-step programs. I think this prayer
could help any ailment by applying its principles. I have the Serenity Prayer
on my mirror which reminds me to use it every day. The prayer is among the best
known but its nuances were lost on me until just recently. I’ve since found a
treasure trove of insight and enlightenment.
Let’s break it down: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.” As you wish, insert your own word (Infinite, Universe) instead of God. This prayer came along long before current writers on acceptance and “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.
Per Wikipedia, acceptance is about a person’s agreeing with
reality (often a negative or uncomfortable situation) without attempting to change
it or protest. The concept is close to acquiescence, derived from the Latin…(to
find rest in).” The basic definition of acceptance means the act of taking or
receiving something offered. Do we accept what life offers us, good or bad?
One of my favorite writers, Eckhart Tolle, wrote my favorite
quote: “When you accept what is, every moment is the best moment. That is
enlightenment.” This is my aim in life to take the good and bad equally without
resisting.
Acceptance is contrasted with resistance, usually
politically. But this can be applied to us as well. Do we accept or do we
resist? If you’re not accepting something, especially when you cannot change
it, it’s like banging your head against the wall. I’ve done this plenty of
times and boy, does my head hurt. Not accepting only yields frustration and
personal suffering. A Star Trek phrase of the enemy Borg taking over the
universe is “Resistance is futile.” How true.
Now, every time I have a thought that yields emotional pain,
I challenge the thought with the first part of the serenity prayer. If I’m
worried about something, I ask myself “Can I change it?” If the answer is “no,”
then I promptly let go of the thought. Any worries of the past can be promptly
dismissed as they cannot be changed. Worries of the future usually can’t be
changed and those thoughts can be dispensed with as well. This has greatly
helped my worries. Each moment we choose freedom or frustration as we choose
whether or not to believe lies of our mind.
Next, “courage to change the things I can.” This can be
challenging to effect meaningful and lasting change in our lives. Some have
espoused that this step should come first, action, before accepting what cannot
be changed. Albert Einstein said “The definition of insanity is doing the same
thing over and over and expecting different results.”
Change is hard. People don’t usually change until they have
to. "Nothing happens until the pain of remaining the same outweighs the pain of change." said Arthur Burt.
I live near a couple railroad tracks. One track is very
active and the trains are moderate to quick-moving. The other railroad track is
rarely used. But when a train does come, it will stop across the road for 20
minutes or more. Such was my lot a few days ago. I came across the train and it
was stopped at a standstill. I happen to know a shortcut around the train
track. It involves snaking through a neighborhood. Sometimes when I come out
the other end, the train is gone and I wonder about my effort going around
versus waiting. But this day, the train was still there and I was glad that I
took the shortcut. As I considered it, I thought maybe it was good to go around
the train either way than sit still. Taking action is always better than
inaction.
The last part of the prayer is “wisdom to know the
difference.” The philosopher W.W. Bartley combines Niebuhr's prayer
with a Mother Goose
rhyme and expresses a similar sentiment:
For every ailment
under the sun
There is a remedy,
or there is none;
If there be one, try
to find it;
If there be none,
never mind it.
It does require wisdom and discernment. I used to have
negative thoughts inundate my mind over 90% of the time. I was miserable most
of the time. Now I’m beginning to get control over my negative thoughts and
starting to feel greater peace. If we always knew the difference between action
vs. inaction and acceptance versus resistance, then we would feel true peace of
mind or serenity, as the title suggests. Eckhart Tolle said, “There, strength,
peace and serenity are available when one stops struggling to resist, or hang
on tightly to what is so in any given moment.” Here’s to greater peace of mind!
