When I had fibromyalgia, I had no energy and slept longer than usual. I never felt refreshed when I woke up no matter how long I slept. In the spring of 2003, I woke up one day with more energy than normal. This higher energy level continued and I began to need little if any sleep. I praised God and thought I had been cured of fibromyalgia. Little did I know that I was experiencing a symptom of bipolar mania. (Mania and hypomania are on the high end of bipolar disorder and depression and anxiety are on the low end.) One of the first symptoms of bipolar mania is you don’t need sleep. I am not joking. I could go, go, go and never miss not sleeping, for months on end. Other symptoms followed, like rapid speech, racing thoughts, delusions of grandeur, increased libido, reckless driving and increased spending.
Since being diagnosed, I can notice the first step down the trail of mania is I can’t sleep. This lack of sleep is like a high, a constant adrenaline rush. One psychiatrist told me: “Sleep is the guardian of sanity.” Amen to that. Without sleep, I quickly go insane. Many scientific studies attest that anyone who goes without sleep long enough begins to go insane. Before I was diagnosed, I thought it was cool that I didn’t need sleep. I thought, “Who needs sleep?” and “Sleep is so overrated.” I thought, “I can get so much more done in a day without sleep.”
One of my favorite 80’s movies, “Real Genius,” came out in 1985 with Val Kilmer. Whenever I was manic, I would think of this film. I even watched it once while I was manic. One of the characters was a girl who didn’t need sleep, ever. She accomplished all sorts of fantastic feats while everyone else slept. Before diagnosis with bipolar mania, I thought this character was amazing and that I was just like this character. She spoke really fast too, and had a short dark bob haircut just like me.
I think my favorite movie character who didn’t need sleep and spoke fast could have bipolar disorder. If you ever come across someone who doesn’t sleep and doesn’t miss it, believe me, they could be either mentally ill or on their way there. Now, I take medication to help me sleep. I have an emergency plan in place if I begin to have difficulties sleeping. I take my medication at the same time each night and I go to bed at the same time. You could say I take sleep very seriously. I think now, “Sleep is not overrated.”
